so that's it for this year

(except for some rules study groups next week)

So let's do a Year in Review!

January
I showed off my derby bible 

February
I got new skates and went to a tournament 

March
I got obsessed with Hamilton and got heckled by fans and shared my jammer referee tips


April
I went to another tournament and posted a lot of pictures of vinyl cutting stuff that I really should fix because they're not showing up anymore

May
I went to a tournament and went to a tournament 

June
I discovered I'm developing arthritis and Front IPRed a bout  

July
I apparently did nothing 

August
I awarded points from the floor and kinda HRed a scrimmage and received my league's Lifetime Achievement Award 

September
 I got an actual, for-real bruise and blocked a coach for old time's sake

October
I had a vaguely terrifying time in Canada and tried to make an NSO dress 

November
I took out a JRDA jammer and panically packed for another tournament

December
I didn't die at the tournament but the new rules will kill me 
 
Total officiating:
35 as a referee, 16 as an NSO.
16 as a OPR, 14 as a JR, 4 as an ALTR, 1 as FIPR
9 as a SK, 4 as an ALTN, 2 as a LT, 1 as a PBT

NEW RULE SET WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE

the tournament went well - I got to skate for one game, yay!  I had to be front OPR and I had some issues with backwards skating, sigh!  But no one died, I got some great experience and a really nice evaluation from the crew HR.

but NOW THERE'S A NEW RULE SET ZOMFG PANIC AND FREAKOUT

I'm in denial about the whole "take backsies on cuts" thing.

And the YOU CAN GO WHATEVER DIRECTION YOU WANT TO GET TO THE PENALTY BOX thing.

Whee?

packing packing all the packing

so I have to pack tonight for the tournament this weekend, since I'm leaving tomorrow AM when I sneak out of work early.  It's going to be crazy packing because I have to pack stuff for refereeing *and* for NSOing, so I'm making a list of all the stuff I need to bring (pencils/erasers! contact lenses! whistles! something to wear over my stripes when I'm ALTing!) but the more I make careful lists of things to bring and things to do (make sure my sports bras are clean!  cover the screwed up backplate on one of my stripes with a new one!) the more likely I am to be OMG JUST THROW EVERYTHING I OWN INTO THOSE BLUE IKEA BAGS five minutes before I have to be out the door.

Tonight's scrimmage night too, so I can't pack my pads and whatnot early.

a little bit of reffing and a lot of crafting

so Sunday was a juniors game in Buffalo, which I JRed.  At one point this happened - we were both okay afterwards though I'm still kinda feeling it.

There was also a few jams where sun glare made it impossible to see what was happening in turn one without shielding your eyes - at one point I came out of that brightness to see OH HEY THERE'S A SPRAWLED SKATER RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.  Yay for being able to do the kind of skating where your feet are at a 180° angle from each other.

Yesterday I was puttering around at work when I got a text message from the apprentice tournament head ref for River Valley Riot (who also happens to be our league's Head Referee) saying "hey, one of the alt refs for a crew rolled an ankle and there's an opening - would you like it?" and I was like OH HELL YES so that means I will be an NSO on one crew and an alt Ref on another and I will most likely die afterwards but REST IS FOR THE WEAK or something like that.

In the meantime, I've been making myself some nameplates and personalizing some NSO shirts -

I'm always worried I will spell "OFFICIAL" incorrectly

I would've liked to have used this for my name, but the spiderwebs would've been really tiny
(and this is a pink shirt - just funky lighting here)

This is with glitter HTV - yay glitter HTV!

simple but fanciful all at the same time
(this is the same shirt with the spiderweb "OFFICIAL", so that shows you how different lighting can be)

The NSO dress fits okay.  Unfortunately, the fabric is just a little too sheer for my comfort - I don't like being HI I'M QUEENIE AND THIS IS MY BRA - but I can wear a camisole underneath it and it turns out ok.  So now I have to hem it, which means I'm never going to finish it.

I also need to make myself some finger bands for scorekeeping, so the jammer referee can see my fingers.   (I know when I (I had a set once out of bright orange spandex but I made them a bit too big so they kept flying off my hand.) 

Thanks to the magic of Facebook, I realized that today is the 8th anniversary of my first derby bout.  Wahoo!  I remember being just completely overwhelmed.  Not much has changed.

just an update

so now I'm 43.  Whee?

in a few weeks I'm going to River Valley Riot as a scorekeeper.  That'll be fun; there are a lot of cool people going.  I'm trying to make myself an NSO dress (this one, variation B, with a slightly longer hem).  I put the zipper in a few days ago, which only took me about eleventy tries to get it right.

I'm also going to Battle of the All-Stars next year in February (I *think* it's February; I should probably look that up), which will also be fun.

other than that, things have been quiet. 

moving right along

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: HR for one half of a Thursday night scrimmage; did not die

it was interesting, to say the least. 

Games 59 & 60

It's always interesting to return to a venue I haven't been to in years and years and years, and this past weekend was no exception - I played a bout here in 2011 (which resulted in my most favorite series of action shots of me, as well as one of my favorite derby pictures of me ever and a HOLY CRAP LOOK AT HOW FIT I WAS picture).

It went pretty well - I was warned that the inside of the track was wonky because it went from plywood to sport court and back, but I didn't have too much trouble navigating any speed distance (I did have trouble navigating the gap that eventually developed between the plywood pieces, but whatevs.)  

The worst part was, honestly, the drive back to Buffalo, where I was staying - there was a stretch of highway where (a) it was 12:45am, (b) I was the only car on the highway (c) I had no phone signal (d) my car had one working headlight and (e) it was sooooo foggy.

The head ref reported back to my league head ref that I did well, so that's good.

Tuesday night I went to practice with the league, and one of the drills the coach had was "Pack lines up at the pivot line, jammers line up at the jammer line.  One whistle starts the pack, when the last pack skater crosses the pivot line, a double whistle will start the jammers."

I legit had a moment where I was like wait a second I'm supposed to be on the track, not skating around on the outside.  All the old-timers of the league were laughing, saying things like "should we be issuing minors" and "where's the outside whiteboard" and all the more recent members of the league were nonplussed (the "confused and unsure how to react" definition, not the "unfazed" definition).

fun with feet

so when I first got my Chaya skates, I had some issues with the big toenail on my left foot - it started to separate from the bed.  Eventually I figured out how to make it stop going any further, figured out the best sock routine, and thought nothing of it for several months (nail polish helps).

Anyway, last week I wore basically the wrong socks and it started to split again, so I just said OK FUCK IT and trimmed it off. 

It's not *that* bad - my toenail's at an angle, and the low point is probably only 2 or 3 millimeters below where it should be - but it still looks weird. 

I'm thankful that I've never lost a full toenail though, like many of my leaguemates have.

I'm going to be JRing both bouts on Saturday; that should be interesting.

time, what does it do? it marches

So last night we referees attended the league practice and did their drills.  One of them was an obstacle course which involved a lot of toe stop and at one point, hitting the assistant coach, who had one of those big body pad things with straps.

So of course, me being me, I got into my old FORGET FINESSE I AM GOING TO JUST RUN INTO YOU WITH EVERYTHING I'VE GOT mindset, grabbed my mouthguard and went to town.

I knocked him off balance and he had to take a few steps to recover. Heh.

I need to figure out a proper level for my toe stops.  I felt like I was ballerinaing a little, but if I lowered them it made my toes really hurt for some unknown reason.  IT IS A MYSTERY

things are starting to pick up again

went to practice on Tuesday with the league; they have these resistance bands that you put around your waist with bungee cords and HOLY HELL they are fun.  They snap you back like WHOA and I was yelling REVERSE PLOW REVERSE PLOW the entire time I was trying to slow down.

Officiating a doubleheader in London, Ontario on October 1.  I think I am JRing the sanctioned game, don't know about the non-regulation game.  We'll see.  Yay for officiating! It's been a few months.

I don't understand it

so I played roller derby for years.  years and years and years. From 2008 to 2014.  I never seemed to bruise.  I'd have these amazing falls, ones where people would gasp and wince, and what would I have to show for it?  Nothing.

Tuesday night at practice, we're working on transitioning, I'm going really fast, trip myself and fall.  A little bit later, we're practicing weaving through cones backwards, I trip over the last cone and fall on the same spot.

it's about 3" on the longer side, on my upper back right thigh

It kinda looks like a rain cloud.  If it were actually oriented on my leg in this direction, I'd outline it and draw lightning bolts coming from it or something.  Ah well.

starting up again

short break, and now we're back to practicing.  Won't have any local games until 2017, but there are other games I'm sure I can officiate.

Went to Montreal for D1 playoffs this past weekend.  It is such a treat to watch smart derby playing and smart derby officiating.  It made me all excited for my own officiating, which is, of course, a good thing.

Anyway, onward and upward!

so...

Our league had its end of the year banquet and awards ceremony, and....

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

....yeah, that was slightly unexpected.

update, because why not

officiated a doubleheader this past Saturday.  OPRed a men's game and JRed a regulation game.  Got taken out by my jammer at one point, and was able to call it off and award points from the floor, without missing a beat.  Yay me!

Our league has a game on the 20th, but imma be on vacation, so I won't be attending.  After that, the league kinda goes on hiatus and then moves into practices for team tryouts, so I might not necessarily have that many more games coming up.

Trying to figure out my tournament schedule for next year - I think I might branch out into ones that are further away.  We'll see.

OH FORGOT TO MENTION - our men's team had a scrimmage where of the two referees there, I was the most senior, so I was sort of HR by default.  I HAD TO DEAL WITH OFFICIAL REVIEWS.  I HAD TO TALK LIKE AN OFFICIAL.  One of them went okay (a call that was not made that no one saw because, well, there were only two of us), one of them was sort of an "oh fuck what do I do" (a mistake was made, on my part, but the mistake was made because we were running short staffed and would not have been made [or should not have been made] in a regular bout situation).

Nobody died, so it all worked out.

My skates are still giving me "I can't feel my toes" after a while - the doubleheader was particularly horrible - so I've decided to try just not lacing the first two sets of holes.  Which, if you look at this picture, is pretty far down on the skate -

I'm not sure if it'll work, but I'll give it a shot.

it's quiet uptown

so things are kinda quiet on the derby western front right now.  Don't have any games to officiate in the near future (the games that our league does have, I have other things going on at the same time).

you are a strong individual and this is a learning experience

last night at scrimmage there were only two (eventually three) skating officials, so we forwent jam refs.  I was put as back IPR and told to concentrate solely on pack definition. 

I think I did ok; my "no packs" were a little short and I kept saying "pack is all" rather than "pack is here" after a no pack, but I *did* catch a split pack at one point, so yay me? 

The black team let us know ahead of time that there would be points where, for practice purposes, they would not field a jammer.  Unfortunately, one of the times they did that was when the white jammer was in the box, so Delay of Game for them!  I don't think I've ever had that penalty issued in a game yet, so that was exciting.

skate maintenance ahoy!

so at scrimmage last night my trucks were crazy loose.  I'd done a little bit of weaving work at Tuesday's practice, but nothing that would cause them to get so loose. 

So I tried to tighten the trucks (remember how everything is all sorta crammed and jammed up into a little tiny space?) I had to take one of my wheels off and then borrow a friend's socket wrench that has pins in it so it conforms to any size nut.  And they still were kinda wobbly.  I wonder if it's pivot cups or something.  I'll have to take 'em apart this weekend and figure out what's going on.

well...

I chickened out and asked the HR for the 25th to switch me out of front IPR. 

I looked at my calendar and I really don't have much else for the rest of the summer.  There's the 25th of June, an out-of-town doubleheader on the 30th of July I marked myself as available for, and...that's it, actually.  Any other bouts I've already got stuff scheduled for those days.  Jeepers.

well, that was a thing.

I did the best I could.  There was one point where the jam ref had to call a chasing skater out of play (though to be fair, I was going to call it a split second later).

Lotsa work to do before the 25th.

time slogs onward, as is its wont

Front IPRing a bout tomorrow, my first time doing it in a non-scrimmage scenario.  Practiced it last night, I feel I did okay. I did my best not to look at the marks on the floor for calling people out of play.  I did do a COLOR / NUMBER / FAILURE TO REFORM - OR IS IT RETURN - SOMETHING LIKE THAT (that's literally what I said) at one point. (It was "reform".)

Our practice space was quite muggy. I can only imagine what it'll be like in a month or two.  Whee?

Saw the hand doctor about my hand. He doesn't think it's the cyst returning. IT MIGHT BE ARTHRITIS! WHEE!  Anyway, I got a (most likely very expensive) derby wrist guard type thing that I'm supposed to wear for a month and see if that helps it.  If it doesn't (which it hasn't been) then we do either physical therapy, get a steroid shot, or an MRI.

Getting old sucks.

My skates have been doing a lot better - I switched to thinner socks (these ones, in white) and got neoprene ankle sleeves.  I need to clean my wheels, though - the floor at Battle of Bunker Hill was craptastic (they'd had a CIRCUS there the week before). 

oh dear

I've been rostered to be front IPR at a regulation bout on the 25th of June

ZOMFG

and I just doublechecked and I'm JR for the sanctioned bout

ZOMFG

it's been a while

OH MY GOD IS IT A SATURDAY WHERE I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING DERBY-RELATED TO DO?

(well, I do have some heat transfer vinyl work to do.)
(and there's a bout on Sunday morning.)

(but still.  A SATURDAY WITH NO OFFICIATING.)

So that was a weekend!

Men's derby is like everything's exploding.

My skates decided they wanted to enter the "smashing hammers into your big toes" phase after two games.  I do believe I need to re-heat mold them.

ok let's do this

In about 3 and a half hours....

(mic drop)

Everything I need for a weekend of refereeing, in a carry on bag.

dammit

dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit

apparently the moral of this story is GO FOR THE IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION

Beaver Fever in the Books

It was a very long weekend, being on two of three NSO crews. 

Everything went fine until the very last game I was officiating - I was moved from lineup tracking to scorekeeping. No problem, right?  Scorekeeping was my job on the other crew.

Except for the part where I made an incredibly boneheaded error and gave a team four extra points and didn't realize it until waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay after the jam ended.

I felt horrible.  Still do. 

Everyone was very understanding though, and it didn't affect the outcome of the game.

So that was a thing that happened. 

Now it's back to refereeing and OPRing and all that.  Whee!?!?

weep weep

So this is the pool at the venue.

I might need to go over early.

My appointment with the hand doctor is the Wednesday after I get back from Battle of Bunker Hill. 

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

so I have this ganglion cyst on the top of my left hand that comes back like zombies.  I first had it removed in September 2000, and then again in September 2010.

Now it's starting to come back again. It's not visible yet (in the past it's been like a gumball trapped under my skin) but I can feel it if I run my right hand down the back of my left hand, and if I have to carry things, or write for an extended period of time, it really hurts (which is sort of the signal that it's coming back and I'll need to get it taken care of).

When I had it taken care of back in 2010, I was in a wrist-guard kind of cast for about two weeks, then another week or so of "be gentle with it."  So I need to find a three-week window where I don't have anything going on HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's hysterical.  (I can't even be, like, "Ok, I'll NSO" because I'M LEFT HANDED.)

weekend excitement builds

So trying to get organized for this weekend.  My spare NSO shirt should arrive from Uniqlo today (I don't know if I mentioned, but I managed to get a stain on one of my shirts, ARGH ARGH SMASH) so I will have to HTV stuff on it.

the THNSO very kindly took me off the first game on Saturday, BLESS HER SO MUCH.

There is an indoor pool at the hotel and a pool at the venue (though I don't know when I'll have time to swim there, as I only have a 2 hour window open from 1pm to 11pm on Saturday).

I need to find my OFFICIAL-TYPE PERSON backplate so I can wear my hoodie there (a team from our league is participating, so I can't display their logo while there).

I need to remember to bring the one nameplate I made for someone.

I should probably get some Canadian dosh at some point.

THROW EVERYTHING INTO IKEA BAGS, basically.

Games 45 and 46

It was a long day, as I'd done a garage sale beforehand.  It went pretty well, I think - I was told I made some good calls.  I think I screwed up a couple minor things, though. 

My experience with breaking in skate boots seems to go "oh, these are great" to "I'VE MADE A HORRIBLE MISTAKE" to "oh, these are prefect".  Right now I am in the second phase, alas.  My toes went completely numb by the end of the first bout, and my right skate was rubbing against my ankle any time I had to make a tight left turn (which, well, is pretty much all you do when you're jam reffing).  They're also putting pressure on my big toenails - not so much that they're turning black or in danger of falling off or anything, but it does hurt.  I don't know that relacing them would help, as the laces on Chaya boots don't start up at the toe.  I'll have to do some tinkering around with them.

I also had this for my nameplate:

the weeding....my God, the weeding

Anyway, now it's on to Beaver Fever!  Woot!

Battle o'Bunker Hill

Got my schedule - have the first game on Sunday (8:30am).  Hopefully our "you need to be here by X o'clock" time will not be too crazy early.

And thus begins MONTH OF DERBY ZOMFG

Doubleheader on Saturday - OPRing the sanctioned game and JRing the regulation game.  Whee!

I put my outdoor wheels on my old skates and went out this past weekend - it felt really odd. The boots felt huge and the trucks were all wobbly weird. 

"leaping lizards"....I mean, er, "leaping contact"

on the one hand, I'm glad there is now a separate verbal cue for "star pass interference"

on the other hand, why do we now need to say "unsporting conduct" when "misconduct" WAS A PERFECTLY REASONABLE WORD TO USE IN THAT CIRCUMSTANCE

post-tournament recappiness

So! Siege of CNY!  Exclamation Points!

I went in as an Alt NSO but did get to do some work: 

I was a scorekeeper for a half and I discovered that I really enjoy it.  My jam referee was one of my fellow refs, so our communication was on point. (I did discover, though, that I have to wear the colored wristband and signal points with my right hand, since I'm a lefty and all that.)

I lineup tracked for a juniors bout.  It was difficult, because we were in the corner by turn 4 and while it was relatively easy to get numbers, it was hard to see when people sat in the penalty box because one of the team's benches was in the way.  It was also difficult because there were two players on the team I was tracking who looked almost exactly the same from back, one was 15 and the other was 16, and one of them had a long ponytail that hung over the second digit of her number.  I muddled through as best I could.

Then, I penalty box timed the last game.

Prior to this last game, I could count on three, maaaaaybe four fingers the number of times I have EVER penalty box timed.

THE TEAM I WAS TIMING HAD FIFTY PENALTIES IN THE GAME.

AND THERE WAS NO INSIDE WHITEBOARD.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

-----

My handy list of things to remember when tournamenting was indeed handy.  I think something is screwed up with my left ear canal, though, as I could not get the earplug to fit in without it hurting, a lot.  A referee friend brought me an octopus and I can't wait to try it out! There was no poutine, but there was a refrigerator stocked to the gills with chocolate milk (Byrne Dairy was one of the league's sponsors) so that was very cool.

-------------
Looking ahead....May is gonna be cray busy.  Sanctioned/regulation home doubleheader on the 7th, then Beaver Fever from the 13th to the 15th, then Battle of Bunker Hill from the 20th to the 22nd, then another sanctioned/regulation home doubleheader on the 29th.

calm before teh stormzar

completely derby-free weekend, which is a bit unusual for me.  Making up for it this upcoming weekend, though, what with Siege of CNY and all that.

more Curio stuff

I can also do regular vinyl cutting, which leads to helmet things like this:

the minifig head is not my own creation

and this...

this was a pattern I purchased from the design store

and this...

thischarmingcharlie.tumblr.com

and this....

note: sewing the edges so that they don't peel and fray also means they don't stretch.  oops.

 and this...

for a leaguemate.  It was making these when I learned the hard way that it's best to keep your free hand away from your rotary cutter when slicing neoprene

once I can get my act together and consistently produce these without screwing up every other one, I will add them to my Etsy shop.

in my spare time

when I am not refereeing, or sleeping, or working, or knitting....

I have a Silhouette Curio, which is an amazing machine that can do all sorts of neato stuff.  Probably most derby-centric is that I can cut heat transfer vinyl into any shape I want, which leads to me having cool nameplates:

 

It's an all caps font, but the lowercase and uppercase are different, so I can have two different "E"s and "K"s

right now, this is my favorite. weeding it [removing all the excess material] was a bitch though.

a nice legible but fancy font

this one may be a little too fancy.  the lettering is white; the lack of a flash makes it look off-white

same deal with this one.  The lettering on this is a little too thin; it also went through the wash and got ripply

my original ref jersey.  It had "Queenie" in white lettering on a black vinyl patch, but the letters peeled off.  Since I did this, the very left part of the "Q" has come off. 

This one is before application to the fabric.  A more formal nameplate.

games 43 & 44

So after each bout I referee, I go back to my Book of Referee Stuff (which now also has NSO stuff as well, so I should probably rename it) and highlight things I blanked on/need to remember in the future.

This time it was apex jumps and DON'T BLOW THE WHISTLE FOR PENALTIES BETWEEN JAMS.

I also need to remember that if I need an Official Time Out, I can call one myself.  I don't need to frantically make the arm gesture and hope that someone sees it in time.

I'll get it all right eventually.

tricks o'the trade

We have a sorta-kinda transfer ref in our league - he's living in town for a few months - and last night at officials' practice our HR was showing him the various cues and limb positions we generally use to keep track of things as jam refs:

• Before the whistle - hold your left wrist out in front of you.  Laser into your brain the color and number of your jammer.  Some referees I know pass their wrist in front of their jammer, like a scanner, to affix it. (I sing "I'm [color], I'm [color], I'm really really [color]" under my breath.)  Lanyard whistle in mouth.
• "Five Seconds" - left wrist goes behind back.  Left arm behind the back is your cue that your jammer is on her initial pass.
• If your jammer loses the ability to become lead jammer, spit the whistle out of your mouth. (if your jammer is not lead and she tries to call it off, the length of time it takes to bring your finger whistle up to your mouth is usually enough time to realize SHE SHOULD NOT BE CALLING IT OFF.  Some referees put their right arm behind their back to add additional time.)
• Points are counted on your left hand by your side.

The only time this goes higgledy piggledy is when your jammer goes to the box and your arms are all over the place.  Some refs keep their number of points scored on their fingers while signaling the penalty (I don't, because I automatically default to pointing to the box with two fingers. I should probably start keeping track of that).

It's kinda interesting, because I can look at myself in derby photos now and see "oh, my jammer was still on her initial pass" or stuff like that.

doop a doop a doop

Doubleheader on Friday in Buffalo - JR for the home teams game, OPR for the regulation.  Gonna be a late night (first game doesn't start until 7).  Fortunately I can crash at my Dad's house.

Not much refereeing going on in April other than that - I'm going to Siege of CNY April 15-17, but that's as an Alt NSO. 

I may or may not have made a huge mistake

Part of the problem with tournaments is that the officials' meeting is usually held on Friday evenings, which means that you have to spend Friday traveling.

I try to take as little time off work as possible, because I'm my boss's sole support and if I go away for extended periods of time things explode.

So far I'm going to three tournaments this year - one in Rome, NY (about 2 hours away), one in Waterloo, Ontario (about 3 hours away) and the one in Boston (about 6 hours away).

Because I work part time, I can get away with driving right from work for the Rome and the Waterloo ones - Boston, not so much.

So....I'm flying to Boston.  Whee?

(read the title of this entry)

eeeeeee

The Cone of Silence has been lifted, so I can announce that I've been accepted to be a referee at the Battle of Bunker Hill, a men's derby tournament in Boston in May.  Yay!  The crews are a combination of awesome people and people I haven't met yet and I'm very excited. 

perhaps I should have just gone with "red" and "yellow"

I am trying to become more familiar with NSO paperwork, and spent part of the morning writing up jam scenarios and trying to fill out the paperwork appropriately. 

The team colors I chose were "chartreuse" and "vermilion".  You reach semantic saturation with those words pretty quickly.

5.13.10.2 and 5.13.9 ARE YOUR FRIENDS

Last night our officials group had a meeting.  Usually we watch footage from the bout that just occurred, but we didn't have it, so we didn't watch it (obviously).  We did discuss it, though, in great and loving detail.

I realized that I messed up my explanation of the penalty box shenanigans - there were TWO instances, one in each game:

FIRST GAME: Player reports to the box after committing a low block, due to her skate truck breaking.  The jam is called dead for other things.  While discussing the other things, and trying to determine if the player with the broken skate should be substituted out, that team's coach enters the penalty box and communicates with the player.  We see this and the HR plans on giving him a Penalty Box Violation, which would go to the captain. 

THEN THE CAPTAIN GOES INTO THE PENALTY BOX AND COMMUNICATES WITH THE PLAYER.

(At this point it's determined that the Captain was already "in the box" when she spoke to the player, so she does not have to serve a second penalty.)

SECOND GAME: During an Official Review about a penalty that a team's jammer is serving, that jammer leaves the penalty box to get a water bottle.  The penalty is overturned, but she earned herself a Penalty Box Violation.  The HR and the team's coach go over to the box to let the jammer know.

THEN THE COACH STEPS INTO THE BOX AND ADMONISHES THE JAMMER FOR LEAVING THE BOX.

She. Nan. I. Gans, to be sure.

and so on and so forth

I got accepted to be an NSO at Beaver Fever, a tournament in Canada in May.  yay! 

I HAVE FIVE GAMES ON SATURDAY. 

9am, 1pm, 3pm, 7pm and 9pm.

I'm going to die, aren't I?

and then there was this -

three minutes until the second half starts, I *really* have to pee, and a fan stops me to ask "can you explain what this whole game is about?"

well, *that* was interesting

HECKLER: OPEN YOUR EYES, REF! SHE'S CALLING IT OFF!
ME (in my head): SHE'S NOT LEAD JAMMER, YOU DOLT. 
ME (outwardly): (Ref face)
-----------------------
A skater entered the penalty box to talk to another skater.  She got a penalty.

The coach entered the penalty box to admonish the skater who got the penalty for talking to the skater originally in the penalty box.

*She* got a penalty.
 ----------------------
There was lots of other stuff, but that's what stuck in my head the most.

I feel like I did pretty well.  We'll see what the tape says when we watch it on Tuesday.

switching skates for clipboard for a night

I didn't want to aggravate my muscle pull at last night's scrimmage, so I was an NSO. I ended up trangling - a combination of penalty wrangling and tracking - and had a few fresh meat skaters shadowing me.  It was fun, and I got to answer their questions about the game. (I later found out one of them was legit young enough to be my daughter, and that was a ZOMFG I AM OLLLLLLLD moment to be sure.)

I really do enjoy NSOing and wish I got a chance to do it more often.  

Doubleheader tomorrow!  Hopefully I will not die.

funny how that happens

So remember how I thought I did totally crappily officiating this bout?

I received word that it was not perceived that way.

Yay?

Now my big concern is a groin muscle pull.  I must have done it at the St. Patrick's Day parade because yesterday it was a little bit hey I'm your groin muscle and hi! you're aware of me now, aren't you? and now it's let's show these Federalists who they're up against, SOUTHERN MOTHERFUCKIN' DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS, where "these Federalists" is "Queenie" and "SOUTHERN MOTHERFUCKIN' DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS" is "GROIN MUSCLE".

(OH!)

Ice and NSAIDS are my friends.  I got a doubleheader this weekend!

DEAR MR. HAMILTON, JOHN ADAMS DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE SO WHO ARE YOU PROMOTING

(I've become a little obsessed with Hamilton over the last few days.)

The parade went REALLY WELL.  It was in the 60's and sunny! Our league's fresh meat really stepped up and represented (both our travel teams were in Cincinnati).

time marcheth onward

I felt much better after last night's practice.  Like I actually knew what I was doing!  Yaaaay!  We've had some warmer weather 'round these parts so the practice space was actually over 50 degrees, which was a nice change.  The floor was humid and slick and squeaky though.  A bunch of us fell when we usually don't.

Operation Skate Break-in is going along, slowly but surely.  I'm getting a bruise underneath my left big toenail, I think.  I've been working really hard on letting the skates do the turning, not my ankles, but old habits die hard.  (It's interesting because one of the other refs in our league who just got new skates is having the opposite problem - he went from high ankled boots to low ones.) 

Tomorrow is the St. Patrick's Day parade and (knock on wood) the weather looks sunny and mild and dry, so we'll be able to skate!  (It's been a few years since that's been an option.)

Our first home games are next Saturday - sanctioned and regulation - and I've been rostered for both of them.  Whee! 

lookin' ahead

my ankle is bugging me. whee?  the front halves of my feet went numb during the game on Sunday, hopefully that will dissipate as I break in the boots.

Saturday is the St. Patrick's Day parade.  Both teams are playing away so our group might be tiny. But it'll still be fun - I've done it every year since our first in 2009.

other than that, I got nothin'. 

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

not very happy with my performance yesterday - I saw many penalties but someone else called them first.  This means that I should've been watching other things going on.  The pack went FAST SLOW FAST STRETCHED COMPACTED and my positioning was all over the place.

Ah well.  That is how one learns.

(there was one amusing bit - during one star pass, the jammer got knocked down, and looked like she was going to try and pass it while still on her knees.  As soon as she did, it seemed like at least FIVE referees whistled for the star pass violation.)

bargle bargle bleh

Regulation bout on Sunday; I'm OPRing.

Did some front IPRing at scrimmage last night.  It gets a little less terrifying each time, although there were points where I kind of made the engagement zone 30 feet.  IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF THE SKATERS DIDN'T MOVE AROUND. I made sure not to gauge distance by the floor markers, though, so that's something.

I started the night not wearing socks in my skates, though after a few minutes I could tell I would get blisters if I didn't put socks on.  Fortunately (though probably unfortunately), it was so cold in our practice space that I couldn't feel my toes, so it didn't really matter if my socks got wonky and pulled my toes to odd locations.

Herga derga doo

So this past Thursday was my second time scrimmaging on my new skates.   After a few times of attempting to put them on while wearing socks, only to have the socks bunch up and stretch and make me *very aware* of how I wasn't able to move my toes (and how much of an awkward placement my toes ended up being in every time), I said "screw it" and wore them without socks.

It went much better than I thought it would - a little bit of rubbing against my ankle, but not enough to form a blister. I might get those ankle sleeve thingies.

Beyond that, I had trouble doing quick acceleration (though that may be because of the floor, or my general attitude that day, or myriad other reasons).  I made an extra effort to turn with my trucks and not my ankles, which actually worked.  All I can do is keep on keepin' on and things will get better and better.

Now that I've completed my rules test and skating assessment, I can start collecting evaluations like a mofo.  Whee?  As I have said many times before, I have no ability to determine what other people may or may not say about me.  As I am me, and am a negative, negative person by default, I figure everyone else is the same way, and my evaluations will just be nothing but "meh" all the way through.  Oh the joy of being me.

WFTDA skating assessment

...went something like this:

TEST GIVER: Okay, now we're gonna do unexpected light hits.  Look in towards the center.
ME: I lost a wheel.
TEST GIVER: Heh, heh, that's good. (Hits me.)
ME: No, seriously.  I LOST A WHEEL.
(does not fall over; go me)

Yeah, I think the nuts holding my wheels on are pretty much shot.  Fortunately that's my old skates; my new ones have brand new shiny nylony lock nut wonderfulness.

So, yeah, I did the skating assessment for WFTDA certification last night.  My lap time wasn't as good as the last time I did it - 1:43 - but (a) the track was crazy slick and I did not want to fall and (b) I'd just jam reffed a scrimmage.

In other news....

Before my right rotator cuff kind of said HEY I WANT ATTENTION I'M GOING TO REQUIRE SURGERY, I was always convinced that my left knee would be the thing that ended my derby career.  My doctor determined I was developing arthritis in 2010; in January 2012 I sprained my MCL; in October 2013 I sprained my ACL.

It started bothering me again over the weekend - but only when I was walking.  I could skate fine, but I'd have to limp all over the place otherwise.  I am going to treat it with a healthy dose of denial.

Still on a tournament high

 So beyond the learning of derby stuff, I learned a few other important things:

1. Bring at least a pillow and blanket.  Ideally bring a tent and inflatable mattress.
2. Earplugs.  Even if you don't use them while officiating.  Presume that the venue will be crazy loud and this will help with #1. (Worst part was that I had earplugs but I'd left them at the hotel.)
3. I was officiating two games a day, so I hung two bags off my gear bag, each of which held a full officiating uniform (including underwear and socks). Finish one game, change back into civilian clothes (since there was about 4.5 hours between my games), put the sweaty icky uniform in one bag.  When it came time to change for the second game, I just grabbed the other bag and got changed.  Everything got washed at the end of the day and reloaded into their proper bags. (I used plastic shopping bags this time; next time I will probably try mesh bags).
4. Next time I go to IKEA I need to get one of these. One referee had one and I was absolutely drooling over it.
5. Baby wipes are good not only for cleaning wheels, but for cleaning off sweat and funk after officiating.
6. Bring blank paper.  I had to leave notes for people and was reduced to using paper plates.
7. Take a picture of the brackets when the tournament is over. It helped me remember which teams played which games and made updating my officiating resume that much easier.
8. Bring as much food as you can - meals add up.
1. Poutine is the exception.  Always buy poutine if it's available.

Battle of the All-Stars Weekend

So much fun, so much derby.  Met so many cool people, learned so many new things, saw so many old friends....I am quite content right now. :)

tournament weekend

leaving after work.  I need to finish packing.  I start out very organized - write a list of what I'll need to bring, roll everything carefully - and then it just devolves into OK I'M GOING TO THROW EVERY PAIR OF UNDERWEAR AND SOCKS I HAVE INTO THIS PLASTIC IKEA BAG AND OH, MAYBE A PAIR OF JEANS AND A T-SHIRT TOO.

Last night was my first night on the new skates in a scrimmage scenario.  They'll take some getting used to.  I had to put some moleskin on the inside of my right ankle, because when I'd make a tight left turn (jam reffing, yo) I'd push against the side of my skate and it'd get a bit owwy.  I'm going to bring them with me to the tournament, but I am bringing my old skates too, and will probably skate more on the latter than the former.  Mostly because I need my confidence to be at 100% when I'm jam reffing AND THE OTHER JAM REF IS A LEVEL 5 REFEREE.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, no pressure there. None at all.

Chaya Skates Review, Part Two

Previously, on Chaya Skates Review: I used a lot of shouty words.
----------------------------------
Yesterday afternoon I went to Wegmans to get a shoehorn for my skates.  In the last few years I've realized just how spoiled I am by having a Wegmans within walking distance of my house. I went to visit my sister in Connecticut once, and we were going to get snacks, and she said "Okay, we have to go to [further out supermarket] because [close supermarket] closed at 10pm" and I was like WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?  SUPERMARKETS CLOSE? and then I see Facebook friends get excited that a Wegmans is opening in their area, and I'm just like HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE WITHOUT A WEGMANS THEY CAN SEE JUST BY EXITING THEIR HOUSE AND SQUINTING A LITTLE.

Wegmans didn't have shoehorns.  I had to go to Rite Aid.

So I arrived at the practice space and excitedly put my skates on.  It was tricky, because they are so snug.  The heel of my sock got bunched up, which stretched out the sock by my toes, so they had to strain against the material and it was uncomfortable. (I am not the kind of person who can skate without socks.  That way, indeed, lies madness.)  Eventually I had to completely unlace them so I could get my foot in comfortably.

Then...I skated.

And immediately sat down and had to tinker with the trucks, as they were hella hella HELLA loose.

Like I said in the previous entry, everything is sort of crammed up in each other's space on the skates.  Here's a picture:

Close quarters, indeed

To tighten the trucks, I had to hold the crescent wrench perpendicular to the nut and hope I got a good grip on it. (One thing that *was* nice is that the nut has a number on each corner, so it's easy to keep track of how far you've turned it.)  Eventually I had to take the skate off to get a good angle on the wrench.

So much tinkering and tightening and loosening and whatnot later, I started skating for real.

And realized I'm going to have to entirely change the way I skate.

I've said many, many times that I most likely skate on the tightest trucks in all of WFTDA.  I crank those suckers DOWN and do all my turning and whatnot with my ankles.  Unfortunately, this does not mean I have Ankles of Steel - I have racehorse ankles, easily strained with a weird step or a drunken cartwheel (not that I have any prior history of drunken cartwheels ~whistling innocently~). 

The Chaya boots put big ol' clamps down on my ankles.  They are Gandalf the Grey shouting YOU SHALL NOT PASS to my ankles, if by PASS you mean MOVE.  This will take some getting used to.

Still trying to figure out the toe stops.  They're smaller than my Bionics, and about 150% of my stopping as a referee is a tomahawk stop (in cease different people use different terms, that's when you do a quick 180° and go up on your toestops) (the other 23% of my stops are T-stops). I could see easily and quickly wearing these down.  I also have to work on the angle, as if they're too steep, my toes still slide down (gravity apparently beats Gandalf the Ankle Clencher) and they actively hurt, because I am not a ballerina, even though I took an introduction to ballet class in college).

As practice progressed, I started to notice that the left boot was pushing into my heel quite annoyingly.  I'm not sure if this will be fixed as part of the Relearning to Skate process, or if I need to remold them.  I was also concerned that I might be developing blisters behind my ankle bone - again, not sure if this is part of Relearning to Skate.

But, other than those concerns, I really enjoy these skates.  They drew many "oohs" and "aahs" and "they look like Pumas" from leaguemates.  They were quite comfortable beyond the ankle business, and it'll be interesting to see how they adapt to my feet in the future (I remember when I got my last pair of skates, they were blissfully comfortable for the first practice or two, then turned into WE'RE GOING TO SWING A SLEDGEHAMMER INTO YOUR TOES for a good number of practices after that.)

So short story very long, I really really like the skates and am glad I got them!

Chaya Skates Review, Part 1

Warning: I abuse the Caps Lock key a lot.

My knowledge of roller skate technology sort of began and ended in 2012, when I last bought skates (Riedell 495 boots, Avenger DA magnesium plates).  I'd see fellow skaters with Antiks and Bonts and be all LA LA LA I DON'T NEED NEW SKATES RIGHT NOW SO I'LL JUST WATCH THAT ONE EPISODE OF HOW IT'S MADE OVER AND OVER AND PRETEND THEY'RE MAKING MY SKATES.

In the last few months, though, they were just getting too stretched out.  When I jam ref, I start on my toe stops and walk along during the scrum until everything breaks out and then I actually start skating.  My toes were starting to hurt because they were sliding to the front of the skate.  So, I figured I should bite the bullet and procure new skates.

I went to Ilana, proprietoress of Turnaround Skates, and threw myself at her mercy.  She had two recommendations - Antik MG-2 and Chaya, a new skate that she hadn't been able to get anyone else to try out but that she could get a special offer on.

I love shiny new toys and I am all about special offers, so I was like YES LET ME TRY THE CHAYA THEY SOUND SWEEEEEEEEET.

I was so excited for them - they looked soooo cool.  I'd tell people I was getting new skates and be all LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE (bring up the website) AREN'T THOSE AMAZING LOOKING ZOMG.

So this past Saturday I went out to her house to pick them up.

I scrunched and shoved and THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS TIGHT, RIGHT? I HAVEN'T MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE? my feet into them.  I tried not to have my feet get claustrophobic but when they're CLAMPED DOWN AND JUST CAN'T MOVE it's kinda difficult.

But then....then.  The heat molding.

I'd heard of heat molding but never seen it done before. I thought they just took the insole and popped it in the oven but no, the whole skate gets thrown (figuratively thrown) into the oven.  It's kinda cool.

Once the skates were heated up, they were MUCH easier to get on.  Put the wheels on quick and then I just wore them until they cooled to the CONTOURS OF MY FEET ROLLER SKATE TECHNOLOGY IS WOW.  My feet still do not move, but it's a THEY DON'T MOVE BECAUSE THEY ARE IN A SNUG LOVING EMBRACE and not because THEY ARE BEING RESTRAINED IN A CLOCKWORK ORANGE-TYPE SITUATION.  My ankles were also like OH HEY I'M GETTING HELD ONTO WHAT IS THIS MADNESS. The Riedell 495s have ankle locks (you thread your laces through a strap that's supposed to hold your ankle) but I could never get them to do anything.

And it's not, like, once you do it they're permanently that way until you die!  If part of the skate is rubbing on my foot weirdly, I can REHEAT IT AND SHOVE SOMETHING IN THAT SPOT SO IT STICKS OUT AND DOESN'T RUB.  ZOMFG.  TECHNOLOGY!

 Anyway, my first impressions, beyond the OMG THE PRETTY:

The plates (Ophira 45°) are interesting - they don't mount like regular plates, with bolts and drilled holes and whatnot.  They clip onto the skates.  Apparently you can use the plates on other boots (there are mounting holes) and you can use the boots with other plates (you can remove the clips).  I wonder if having the mounts in a single line down the middle of the boot will affect the feel - if the edges of the plate will wobble.

Everything is kind of packed into a small place - the front kingpin is really close to the front wheels which are really close to the toe stop.  Unless I use a crescent wrench, I don't think I can adjust the trucks without removing the wheels.  The toe stops that come with the skates (Cherry Bomb toe stops) have small divots cut out around the edges to accommodate the wheel.  I don't know that my current toestops (Bionic Super Stoppers) will fit.

I'm not sure if my toe guards will work with them; I didn't try.  I hate to break up the aesthetics of the boot (because, well, LOOK AT THOSE BOOTS THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL).

So tonight will be my first time actually using them - I will update then!

OMG SO BEAUTIFUL

eh

Not my best night refereeing, but, well, that's how you learn.

It looks like it's a good thing I'm getting new skates, as wonky things are starting to happen with my plate - I'm having toe stop issues - my left toe stop is spinning freely even though the bolt holding it in place is cranked in as far as it will go.  (The perils of being left-footed.) I had this issue with the same plate about three years ago - the metal around the hole completely broke.

like a donut of fail

I'd had the plate only for about a year or so at that point, so they replaced it for free.  Now that it's been three years, they probably wouldn't be as generous.  So yay for new skates.

Got my assignments for Battle of the All-Stars in two weeks - JRing for four and OPRing for two.  Six bouts in three days.  I really hope the hotel has laundry facilities.  I WILL NEED TO MAKE MORE ACTION SKIRTS.

beeble beeble beeble

So officiating clinics were announced.  I'd maybe go to the one in Cleveland but there's a home bout that day.  I applied to officiate at ECDX, so I suppose if I get that I could go to the one there.  All the other ones are pretty much too far away.  (Long Island is about 6.5 hours away - WHY DOES NEW YORK HAVE TO BE SUCH A BIG STATE?)

Division playoffs and championships were also announced.  I've always wanted to go to Montreal, and it's Labor Day weekend, so yeah, that's pretty much a given.

my life now

double-clicking an animated GIF eleventy million times trying to determine if a jammer made contact with both hands on an opponent or just one.

I've often thought that as a referee, it would be cool to have photographic recall of stuff like this, but then it would turn into The Entire History of You and I DO NOT NEED THAT IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

and I got a FB message - MY SKATES ARE AT THE SHOP THEY ARE AT THE SHOP IN BUFFALO WHY AM I HERE IN ROCHESTER WHEN MY SKATES ARE IN BUFFALO I'm making a special trip on Saturday to try them on I AM SO EXCITED.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I got new wheels.  (Did I mention I was getting new wheels?  I'm getting new wheels.)  I forwent my beloved natural Radar Diamonds for a set of......

Red Radar Diamonds.

Our cold practice space means the track is unnaturally slick, so I went down a hardness.

Did I say "cold"?  I meant FREEZING ZOMFG WTF.  Last night the temperature was 39.6°.  IT WAS WARMER OUTSIDE. We're all in long underwear and gloves and ski masks. It's miserable.

On the plus side, I was told I made some great calls last night, so yay me.  Also had a situation where a jammer was trying to call it off but wasn't touching her hips (she was touching higher up on her torso).  The bench was like SHE'S CALLING IT OFF, QUEENIE, C'MON! but I was like SHE'S NOT TOUCHING HER HIPS I'M NOT GONNA CALL IT OFF UNTIL SHE DOES (I didn't say that, of course.) Then she *did* touch her hips....but only did it once.  In the words of the Star*Kist tuna commercials, sorry, Charlie.

My bible

Very official and whatnot

I don't know why it's sideways, but there are flags for each section

I've made stickers to represent the track and a straightaway

It's much easier than trying to draw a half-way decent straightaway over and over

#33

Went pretty well.  There were *so many times*, though, that a skater would return from the Penalty Box and cut right in front of me to re-enter the track and I would either have to stop or I would run into them.  It got to the point where I actually yelled I'M GOING TO START CALLING MISCONDUCTS IF Y'ALL DON'T STOP.

(The HR warned both teams, and after that it was okay, but still.)

Figured out what I'm going to do for my skates - I'm going to be a guinea pig!  I can get a deal on these skates and they look amazing and I'm a sucker for new stuff, so I said SURE SIGN ME UP.

Earlier today, after taking pen and Wite-Out to my planner YET AGAIN, I decided to make a simple spreadsheet of all the bouts in the area that I could ref - where they are, what league, regulation/sanctioned/other, and my response.  I figured it would make things easier.

IT SO DID NOT MAKE THINGS EASIER.

On the other hand, it did make me realize that I don't have any refereeing going on until All-Stars on the 19th of February.

things, in list form

1. WHEN YOU ARE FRONT IPRING, STOP LOOKING AT THE FRICKIN' 10' MARKS ON THE FLOOR.
2. When you are front IPRing, it's your responsibility to call the out of play blocks/assists and the failures to return/reform.  If you don't do it, NOBODY WILL.
3. Meeting with Ilana from Turnaround Skates after Saturday's bout to get fitted for new skates!  Yaaaay!
4. The Queenie Family is going to be going to Seattle during this summer, and we'd been talking about going in late August, when the Yankees are playing the Mariners.  Turns out that Rat City is going to host a tournament right around that time, too.  Will definitely apply for it.

so....(and as my mother would reply, "sew buttons!")

I've been doing some thinking and talking with other refs, and I've decided that I'm going to wait until I have a bunch of evaluations, and then apply for Level 2 certification (you have to wait a year between applying for levels, so if I go for 1 now, I'd have to wait.)

wheeeeeee

So I'm thinking I will buy new skates, or at the very least, new boots.  I've had my current ones for almost 4 years now (it was this weekend in 2012 that I went to NYC and Five Stride to get them), and I can wiggle my toes in them easily now.

gettin' back into le swing de things

the ol' reffing dance card is starting to fill up again. Whee!